Dear Fruit of the Loom,
Usually when I am motivated to write a company about their product, it is due to dissatisfaction. This time however, the opposite is in order.
Last week while shopping at that corporate megalomaniac known as Wal-Mart, I came across your Work Gear socks. The bright orange packaging was hard to miss. Just a few days before I bought a pair of Sketcher work shoes and was having a very discomforting time getting them broken in. Cushioned insoles were of little help and I had already ruined two pairs of inferior socks (I will not divulge what brand socks I usually use but will tell you the company was probably founded by someone named Mr. Wilson).
Before I go further, let me tell you I have been a Bellman at in Las Vegas for the past ten years. The hotel is spread out over 80+ acres and has five different towers of rooms. It is not uncommon for us to walk over ten miles in an 8 hour shift on a busy day. That said, I bought a pair of your socks hoping it would alleviate some of the discomfort my pups were enduring.
Since the first day of wearing your socks, my co-workers have not been able to shut me up. Your socks are the best thing since the invention of the 9-inch paint roller! Not only did I notice an immediate sensation of podiatry bliss putting them on, it also felt as though a masseuse was at work down there. The next day I went back and bought enough pairs to cover my work week. For now, I only wear them at work as I do not want to get spoiled on my days off. You see, your socks make my Mondays something to look forward to.
Is Fruit of the Loom or a parent company on the stock market? I really think when the word gets out about these beauties, you'll have quite a spike in sales. I currently only have a half share in Harley Davidson (a novelty Christmas gift but it looks nice framed in my office) but am now seriously considering expanding my portfolio. Also, please under no circumstances discontinue this product. I would indeed drop some "fruit" in my "looms" if you did. If the day of Armageddon arrives and you must discontinue these socks, please let me know well ahead of time so I may obtain a home equity loan and use the money to buy up your remaining inventory.
I thank you and my feet thank you,
The Garbage Flower
PS. My co-workers say my feet don't stink anymore.
